Going down

The last couple of days it went really down with my mental balance. It felt allmost the same as a year ago when I found out that I was struggling with a depression.
I felt very unhappy and down. I want my heart to stop beatin, I don't feel any challenge or happiness in my life. It felt at the moment as if my life is over. There is no future left for me in the rest of my being on earth.
These are the feelings inside my black hole.
Yesterday I had a nice day with a lot of duties, meetings to attend and so on. But I came home. late at night, and it felt like the whole world was coming down on me. I was alone. because everyone was gone to bed, so there was no one to talk about this.
In my bed the feeling of the end of my life became stronger and stronger. I really had no power the reset my mind and concentrate on something positive.
Today I felt again tired and not amused. I was angry inside myself when someone asked something or wanted something from me.
I hope the feeling will leave me this weekend, because I want to be there for my family.