Working

Today I worked together with my wife. It was nice, but when we are so close I can feel the monster inside of me. I have to fight very hard for myself to keep the predator outside, I tried to stay calm and to keep my voice down, no screaming when I want something different, but keep calm and listen to the other.
I have the biggest problem with people who don't react on my words when I speak to them. It is just like they don't want to listen to me, if they ignore me because I'm myself. These are the moments when the monster inside myself steps inside my safe home and really attacks me and try to kill me.
These are the moments when my Black- Hole opens and I'm falling in to it.
At this moment that feeling is far away, I feel calm and quiet and I will survive today and look confident into tomorrow.