Up and down

This weekend my mental status went like a rollercoaster. On saturday I stand along the field and one moment I felt the monster coming up in me and the other moment I felt quiet and in balance.
This feeling was allso on sunday, I was feeling in balance but my wife said some innocent things and I felt myself very angry and pushed back. In my mind came the thought that she had enough of me and that our marriage is coming to an end.
In my mind that is a very big problem, because the ground shakes and I lose all my balance. Everything is than unsore, my whole life and everything I believe in is falling apart.
On the other hand my mind is allready working on this scenario, because I allways want to be prepared for things that are coming.
These thoughts are coming in me in about a second and I have to work hard to put everything in the right perspective.
My wife was feeling not so well and the kids made a mess in the house. I was forgotten to prepare for dinner, so offcourse she was mad, but she still loves me.

I'm happy and in balance again.