Avalanche

Today it went really well, but when I came home it really went down. My wife had a bad day because she was really tired and the kids were very noisy.
I was prepared for this so it was no surprise, but at the end when I was working on my computer it really snapped in my mind.
The anger came over me like a avalanche, I kicked against the door and became very, very angry.
I was aware of my emotions and I knew how to handle them. I became very quiet and still. I brought my son to bed without speaking one word.
My wife asked me later if she was quilty of my negative emotions, but I was only self quilty about these negative emotions.
I realised that I have a lot of work to do about myself to find my mental balance and be a nice and friendly daddy. It is allso very disappointing that I am free for a couple of days and I think I am not in a very good mood, because I have to climb back out of my Black Hole.