Answer

I still looking for the answer why I lost my mental balance? I have everything, a very lovely wife, a good marriage, 2 very healhty kids, a very nice job, a nice house and a very good car, but still can get very unhappy.
Ofcourse I talked a lot about this with my wife and my therapist, but it sometimes surprised me that I can get so depressed.
Last weekend my son had a tournament at the club. He played for 2 days and I was there to support him. But around noon I had to go home to do some other things and I felt myself getting down because I left him there. My wife said that he must learn that we cannot support him al the time, but I felt depressed about that.
It was just like I was young and I did everything without my parents because they had no time for me. I really want to protect my kids for that feeling, but on the other hand they have to learn to become selfsupporting.
I have a lot of difficulties by finding the right answers for this kind of questions.
And the joke is... my kids have no problem with that.

Not alone

When you look around the internet it is very interesting to see that a lot of people are struggling with the same problems.
Off course every depression is different and everyone lives in different conditions, but the most people have to fight to keep their mental health in balancen and they have to do the fighting alone.
You can only hope that someone is standing next to you and understands you, but you are in combat and you and only you must face the troubles and the challenges.
The battle is on and in the same time you will life a normal live. You must look after your wife, girl- or boyfriend or husband and most of the times your children.
You want them to be happy with you, but at the same moment you want to be alone to fight your battle and find your mental balance back.
For me is writing about my feelings and the illness a great help. I can do this alone and so fight this battle and overcome my disease.
I think that I have to write a lot of this blogs before the cease fire is reached.