Depression

A depression is a very rare disease. At the moment I feel myself very in balance and there is no trace of any problem.
I know that there is a problem and that it will strike me, but now it is very calm.
I feel relax allthough I must take some action on the club, because I have the call a lot of people and I don't feel the need to do that.
I have promised it so I must do it tomorrow, at the last moment off course.
I'm looking for a long weekend, but I am a little bit scared,that the illness will attack when I am free.
It is for everyone very disappointing when I am at home and suffering from my illness. They will have a nice and friendly father and not an very angry babysit.

Mothersday

Today was mothersday, so I must stay calm and nice because my kids had prepared somethings for their mother. You must give them the feeling that it is very good what they do.
It went really well in the morning, they made breakfast, what they normally don't do.
We gave mother her presents, so that went well.
I even played a game with my sons. I cannot play a game because I hate to loose. My sons beat me and that was even no problem, I was a bit angry of myself because I had lost, but I stayed nice and friendly to them.
But then my youngest son said something and the anger stepped out really quick and heavy. I was so angry that I had to step outside the room and ran to the bedroom. I became a little bit calmer and was able to get myself washed and dressed with a more quiet mood.
My sons told my wife that I had a "attack of anger ".
The whole afternoon I felt a little bit down and quiet. The anger came back when I had to install the gifts from this morning. I very quick get the feling that I am not able to install anything and that I am not qualified to do such things.
But at the end it was ready and very good installed.
Sometimes the anger helps me to perform better or to achieve my goals. The adrenaline helps me to concentrate better.