Relationship

I was feeling a little bit better today, but in the afternoon I felt that something in the relationship with my wife is changed.
For my feeling something is broken, is gone.
I felt really sad about it, but it is maybe a feeling on my side. I hope we can discuss this somewhere in the week.
Tonight I was with my youngest son to taekwondo and I was sitting there and I felt unhappy. It is unbelieveble but it is.
I think that is the great frustation of my wife, that she wants me to feel and be happy and I am not able to feel that way.
I know a lot of people wil trade place with me, but I must admit that with al the happiness around me, I feel really unhappy.
My mind made a list of all the good things, but I don't have a good feeling with those items.



I still need to do a lot of work.

Disappointment

When I arrived home I was very disappointed. My sons has taken some money secretly. This was the third time and we were both very angry and stunned.
My wife had to cry and I felt really empty.
My day was good and it was the best day of last week, but now I felt my black hole.
I was even feeling sick after this news. We sent our kids to their beds for the rest of the evening and we sat together, with less words.
I thought I was on the way up, but now I feel empty and with no spirit. I just want to sit and do nothing, just waiting for tomorrow.

Birthday party

Yesterday my youngest son became 8 years and we celebrated this with his little friends.
It is very refreshing to hear what these young world citizens know about the world.
They know exactly which car is the fastest and in which country they are produced. The discussion was about the ranking in topspeed, but they agreed that a Ferrari is faster than a Porsche, but a Lamborghini is even faster.
They allso know all about vulcano's and there eruptions, but they discussed what is lava and what is magma.
All these subjects are discussed by 8 and 9 year old kids on the backseat of my car.
It really makes me happy to here such simple things, because it gave me a great reason to be here and to enjoy these kids for their honesty and their strong believe in what they say. They really believed every word they said to each other in the back on our way to the playfarm.