Final

It is over. The event is ready and done. It was a busy day with a lot of things to do and handle, but it al went well.
I had some stress the day before, but it went well. People were helpful and were pleased with me and my help. The only thing that we were missing was visitors but that was all.
Now I have a little pain in my muscles and I feel a little tired. Yesterday I went to bed very early and had a good nnight sleep.
I feel reliefed and satisfied that I was part of it and really could handle that pressure. Even when a lot of people were calling for me I felt calm and relaxed. I kept saying to myself, "stay calm, one thing at the time, what is more important, etc". Now it is finished and we go one to the next event.

Therapy

This afternoon I had talk therapy. It was the first time in 7 weeks and I really needed it. It is always nice to talk about your illness and feel yourself and your problems understood.
It is getting better after this bad weekend. I have more control about my emotions and feel more relaxed.
This week we have a great event in our local area and I will be responsible for the saturday. That gives a bit of stress. That feels good, but I feel also a little fear that it goes wrong. That makes me uncertain, but I try to handle that.

Stress

I am full of stress because of the coming holiday. I have a lot of worries about those 2 weeks, because of my depression.
I know when I have time to relax and there is no pressure, I will be irritated and feel very angry. This year I want to have a nice and calm holiday for my family, but that gives me a lot of tension.
My wife told me that I must relax and think about it and don't make any scenarios about what could happen.
In my heart I want to stay home and don't go. I don't want to stop the daily routine, because I am afraid what wil happen with my mental status.
But, my family want me to go with them so I must be prepared.