Sea

Today it was like a wild sea. My state of mind went up and down.
First I heard that I won't refund some money, that really upsets me, because I really counted on it. I had calculed the amount , so I was looking for it, but it was a great disappointment.
I felt the black hole coming to me, but I was able to fight back and came back on top.
Tonight my wife said that she see progres in my illnes, so that makes me happy. She was very happy that I am more relax and enjoyable. That I have some very good moments with my kids and that the therapy is really working.
I agree with that, but there is still a long way to go.
I hope people will read this and become stronger and get more belief in their struggle. This thought really helps me to overcome my sickness.

No depression

It is quiet inside my mind. It seems there is no depression. Everything goes nice and easy.
I know it is there underneath the surface, but it isn't coming out now.
It gives me a good feeling that there is progress in my sickness and that I can handle my mental balance better, but I'm afraid that a little thing can happen and it will burst out to the surface.
I hope not, but I am realistic, the struggle is not over yet. There is stil a long way to go.